The Kids Are All Right (2010)

Starring:

Score: 4.5/10


Flimsily disguised and poorly executed, The Kids Are Alright is Literally a propaganda film for a political agenda.

The movie poster shows family happily at lunch; the average respondent would expect a happy go lucky romp through wine country with maybe a little family enrichment along the way. A family movie where anyone is fellated while watching graphic pornography on television would seem perverse and wrong in any other film, but in TKAA it’s okay because they are lesbians – and if you aren’t okay with that then you’re clearly a maladjusted, regressive reprobate. If you’re a heterosexual you’re not left without, we also have graphic sexual intercourse between an interracial couple – if you’re not okay with that in your family movie then you’re obviously the worst of malcontents! Shame!

Do you remember as a child what it was like to be watching television or a movie with parents and seeing

I know that I will get a lot of resistence to this view, but I believe that cinema should be first and foremost a window of beauty into another world. Education is one thing, but this movie is re-education of the 1984 Orwellian variety; you pay your money for them to tell you should adjust your political views to fall in-line with the urban trendy it-crowd that seem to think they have the right to announce and enforce social policy to the entire western world.

-Lesbians – one who is a doctor (representing her as a fine upstanding citizen; erudite and wise), the other an “eco-friendly” landscaper (defying gender occupation traditions!) – gay parents are from every walk of life; with an Al Gore twist.

The film isn’t even really a film – it’s an answer to a question we all apparently are meant to have on our minds “Should gay’s have children and will the children turn out mentally healthy?”, to which they’re not really interested in searching out any objective evidence, instead creating a narrative to enforce their perspective. The films reads as an ettiquette book to leftist PC company; if you don’t like thinking for yourself and want to be programmed with someone else’s opinion then this is surely the film for you.

There have been some explosively positive reviews for this movie, but one cannot help but wonder whether these reviews were evaluating homosexuality .etc rather than the movie itself as there is no possible way this movie could be considered the masterpiece some think it to be with any clear-minded evaluative process. There is nothing special about this movie; not the camera work, not the poor acting, not the less than adequate casting choices, not the meager and yet bizarre writing.

The term ‘comedy’ is no longer describes a legitimate genre, it’s a meaningless justification to mislead and deceive and audience into seeing your shitty slice of life flick. The term needs to be taken back. In no universe could TKAAR be legitimately called a comedy. If it does indeed qualify then I think it would set a solid precedent for an appeal from the makers of Sophie’s Choice to have it listed as a comedy too.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not at all weighing in on the merits of homosexuality, adoption of any kind or anything of that nature – what I’m concerned with is film as a medium; and I’m angry when the art of film making is denigrated and diminished into something of far less value.

Back in the 90s everyone suspected that Dakota Fanning was going to grow up and go on to big things – much like Drew Barrymore. You know who was a terrible child actor and who is  growing up to star in only terrible movies? Josh Hutcherson. He hasn’t done anything of remote value since Bridge To Terabithia and it’s hard to imagine him being a valuable asset to any future production. Hutcherson is a tour de force of 2d acting and standardised screen arrogance. While he’s certainly a bad actor in general, the writers of the film cannot be excused – his name is LASER. Perhaps that means good anti-intellectual lefty in Venuzulan, but in the western world it means a heat beam; generally conjuring the image of a futuristic projectile cannon.  LASER; you better be okay with that and not raise an eyebrow or you’re ignorant!

There is honestly a kid named Laser in this movie, LASER. As in fire the fucking laser at my temple and end my suffering.

4/10

-George Clooney

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